Family Portrait - Season 1, Ep 24
Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her; Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Laker game, and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbo-tron; Luke interviews Jay for a school project; and Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.
Claire has put a lot of effort into planning a family portrait, synchronizing everyone’s schedule, planning their all white outfits, and getting the best photographer in town to capture the entire extended family looking their best. Of course, there’s a lot happening the day of the photo shoot. Phil is off to the Laker game with Alex. Luke was supposed to go, but he forgot that he needs to interview someone who lived through the '60s for a school project. That knocks Jay out of the game as well, as he is the subject. Gloria takes Manny to the game in his stead, and meets up with Phil and Alex. When Haley sees her dad on TV at the game, Claire calls Phil's cell… only to catch him intentionally letting her call go to voicemail. Later, Phil and Gloria are zeroed in by the Kiss Cam (which is when two people's faces are plastered on the jumbo-tron until they share a kiss). Phil gestures that they aren’t together, but the crowd wants their kiss. To appease the crowd, Gloria plants a big kiss right on Phil's reluctant lips. A red-faced Phil is still trying to compose himself when Alex receives a text from Haley saying that Claire saw him on TV, and is furious. Of course, what she saw was him screening her call and not the steamy kiss.
Meanwhile, Jay is regaling Luke with tall tales of his days in the Sixties. When Luke isn’t impressed with Jay’s stories about sweeping up hair at this father’s barber shop, he starts stretching the truth a bit. Luke’s classmate’s uncle may have marched on Washington, but Jay’s father cut Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s hair… and since there isn’t anyone to dispute him, he continues adding other celebrity clientele, including Buzz Aldrin and Elvis.
Cameron has been asked to sing at a wedding, and Mitchell (who hates making small talk) is staying home with Lily. When a pigeon gets loose in the house, a freaked-out Mitchell barricades himself in the bedroom with Lily. After cowering in the room for a while, he ventures out. In his quest to get rid of the bird, he completely trashes the house. Claire has also trashed her house in an ill-fated attempt to fix a cracked step in the spot where the family portrait was to take place. No one would have noticed it but her, but she couldn’t let it go. The photo shoot is switched to Jay's place. When the gang gets back from the basketball game, Phil tries to apologize by giving Claire a big foam finger, explaining that it won't make up for everything, but it's a start.
There's no time to talk about what happened at the game. All Claire wants to do is get the picture taken before the photographer leaves to shoot a bar mitzvah. Everyone’s issues are coming to a head. Cam is mad at Mitchell for bailing on his singing debut. Haley is getting a pimple. Gloria is wearing a revealing dress that is too sexy for a family photo, while Phil is wearing pants that are way too tight. Claire pushes forward, gathering everyone outside and into position. It's hard to get anyone smiling when everyone's so busy bickering. The "Kiss Cam" scandal is exposed, initiating a chain reaction of feuding family members. Claire is freaking out. When Jay tries to calm her down, she lashes out: she doesn't like being a perfectionist, but there's no quick fix for it. Or is there? Jay grabs a handful of mud, and splatters it all over Claire's lovely white outfit. This starts a no-holds-barred family mud fight. The photographer gets a lot of great shots of a very muddy family. No one looks perfect, but everyone is happy.
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