Hawaii - Season 1, Ep 23
Jay could not be more excited to do nothing but indulge and relax in this tropical paradise, but then an unexpected reality-check dampens his plans; Phil is determined to make this trip the honeymoon he and Claire never had; the kids get into some mischief when left to their own devices; and Mitchell and Cameron have opposing views on whether to sightsee or not to sightsee.
Everyone has arrived in Maui, and is ready to spend their vacation in their own specific manner. Phil has hopes of turning this trip into the honeymoon he and Claire never had. Their wedding was pushed up to a quick city-hall ceremony when they realized Haley was on the way. Sadly for Phil, Claire is very honeymoon-resistant, saying that she’s a mom traveling with her kids: it's not a vacation, it's a business trip. Phil eventually convinces Claire to join him in the adults-only pool. When Haley yells from afar that she'd like to hang out at a neighboring hotel with some kids she just met, Phil convinces his concerned wife to just let her go. He tells Claire that a honeymoon takes commitment: Eye of the Tiger!
Hotel roommates Manny and Luke are the odd couple of the island. Manny prefers things neat and orderly, and according to Luke, folds everything he finds. Luke likes to jump on the bed and pretend he's a bathroom Martian from the nebula of the great toilet. Luke even goes so far as to crinkle and crease Manny's linen dinner jacket. The wrinkles could have been smoothed out if Luke hadn't used the complimentary iron to make grilled cheese.
While relaxing poolside, Jay gets a birthday call from his brother, who reminds him that their dad died at Jay's current age. Suddenly the burger, fries, and additional fries Jay ordered for lunch don't seem so appealing. He decides to get in shape fast. Gloria's not thrilled with her new action-packed hubby, noting that all the swimming, running, and rowing remind her too much of how many of her relatives got into this country.
Mitchell and Cameron are off to the Lavender Ranch, where they grow 45 different varieties of lavender. Cam believes that he may have exaggerated his interest in adventurous travel by implying that he had any. He would much rather hang by the pool with Lily, so he sends Mitchell off alone at the last minute. Mitchell returns early, complaining that the Lavender Ranch is something two men are meant to do together. Cam convinces him to enjoy the tropical drinks and foot massages being served up poolside. Soon, both men are very relaxed. In fact, they're a little too relaxed: they leave Lily in an elevator as the doors close behind them. Thankfully, Gloria finds the accidentally abandoned baby while searching for an MIA Jay.
As it turns out, the birthday boy overextended himself with all his exercising. Jay's back has seized up, and Phil finds him trapped within the confines of a big hammock. Phil tries to pull Jay out, but ends up falling on top of him. With his back in spasms, Jay insists that Phil not move, and the two remain in close contact for about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, Claire has her hands full with a hung-over Haley. Jay decides to take it easy for the rest of his vacation, which is just fine with Gloria. Mitchell and Cam realize that a modest amount of adventure can be relaxing, too. They take a tour of a banana plantation… where they promptly lose Lily. As for Phil and Claire, they never did get that dream honeymoon. Phil believes it's because they never had a proper wedding; which is why he set up an outdoor ceremony, where they renew their vows in front of the entire family, complete with a ukulele playing a sweet Hawaiian version of Survivor's hit song, "Eye of the Tiger."
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