Season 2, Ep 6 - Never Been Kissed
In the locker room Finn and Sam discuss their need to control their sexual urges since neither of their girlfriends (Rachel and Quinn) will let them get past “second base”; Finn explains his method of picturing the mailman he hit with his car, and suggests Sam picture something equally disturbing: Coach Beiste in a sexually compromising situation. In the hallway Kurt is brutally “locker-checked” by Karofsky, but tries to remain stoic. Having returned from his stint at juvey, the re-Mohawked Puck regales his classmates with stories of how he ruled the detention facility. In the choir room Will tells the kids about the teams they will face at this years’ Sectionals: “The Warblers,” an a capella choir from the Dalton Academy (an all-boys private school); and “The Hipsters” from Warren Township Continuing Education Program, whose members are all elderly people getting their high-school GED. Will then gives the kids their assignment for the week: another “boys vs. girls” competition like the one they held last year. As the class divides itself into teams, Kurt clearly feels out of place among the boys. After class, Puck pushes Artie through the halls; he tells his wheelchair-bound classmate he was let out of juvey early because he agreed to do community service, and helping the handicapped Artie beats picking up garbage along the side of the road. Kurt is again accosted by Karofsky; Will witnesses the encounter, and talks to Kurt about it. Kurt says that being the only openly gay student at McKinley is starting to wear on him; he also adds that he finds Will’s assignments “boring and repetitive,” and says they no longer challenge him or the other Glee kids. Will takes the words to heart; back in class he tells the kids he’s making an adjustment to their assignment: the groups should pick songs which are the opposite of what they would normally do. At first Kurt is buoyed by the new assignment, but soon realizes he is still viewed as an outsider by the rest of the guys. That night Sam and Quinn make out; when things start to get too intense for Sam, he closes his eyes and pictures Coach Beiste in lingerie. The tactic works, but when Sam inadvertently calls Quinn “Beiste,” she’s disturbed and not sure how to take it.
Worried that Sam and Beiste may be having an affair, Quinn looks to Sue for help; seeing it as another opportunity to score points against her arch-nemesis, Sue tells Quinn to confront Sam about her fears loudly and publicly. In the school commons, Puck grabs his guitar and he and Artie perform Bob Marley’s “One Love”; during the song Puck glares at passers-by, intimidating them into tossing dollar bills into his open guitar case. By the song’s end the duo has collected several hundred dollars. Puck suggests they use the money to take Brittany and Santana out to dinner at Breadstix. Kurt sneaks into Dalton Academy, and witnesses the Warblers performing Katie Perry’s “Teenage Dream”; he is surprised to discover that unlike New Directions, the Warblers are considered to be “rock stars” among their fellow students. He strikes up a conversation with Blaine, the group’s obvious leader. Back at McKinley, word of Sam’s unique method of forestalling premature ejaculation has started to gain traction among the other Glee kids. Quinn takes Sue’s advice, and openly confronts Sam, who vehemently denies having an affair with the football coach. Their argument is overheard by Will and Coach Beiste, both of whom seem thoroughly confused.
In the choir room Will questions Sam about what he overheard; Sam confesses everything, but maintains that “flogging the Beiste” isn’t meant to be hurtful: it’s just what they think about to help them cope with girlfriends who “won’t put out.” Will counters that cruelty starts with a thought. Like the Glee kids, Coach Beiste is an outsider whose talent goes unappreciated simply because she’s different. He tells Sam and the others to stop the practice, and warns that the coach can never learn of it. At Dalton Academy, Kurt has a latte with Blaine, who readily admits he too is gay. Kurt confides he is having difficulty fitting in with his fellow students at McKinley; Blaine says “prejudice is ignorance,” and recommends Kurt confront his bully. In the teachers’ lounge Coach Beiste approaches Will; she tells him about the increasing lack of respect she’s begun to experience from his students. At first Will is reluctant to say anything, but eventually he tells her the truth. She doesn’t take the news well.
At Breadstix, Puck and Artie are on their date with Brittany and Santana; Puck regales them with stories of his time at juvey. All three are in awe of him; Artie begins to have second thoughts when his new mentor suggests they “dine and dash.” Artie defies Puck by paying their check; his action results in Puck cutting Artie off from any further bits of wisdom. In the choir room the next day, the girl’s sing a mash-up of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” and Guns ‘N Roses “Welcome to the Jungle”; the performance is well received by all. Kurt gets a text message from Blaine urging “courage.” Will meets with Sue, who gleefully relates that Coach Beiste has quit her job; she credits Will’s students with succeeding where she failed. In the hallway Karofsky shoves Kurt yet again, but this time Kurt refuses to let the action pass. He confronts the abusive jock, and seems ready to accept whatever violence Karofsky intends to dole out; to Kurt’s surprise, the jock kisses him full on the lips.
In the choir room an angry Will tells his students Coach Beiste has quit; he says he’s ashamed, and encourages them to figure out how to get her to reconsider the resignation. In Figgins’ office the principal meets with Will, Puck, and Puck’s probation officer: Joan Martin. Apparently when Puck said his planned community service entailed “hangin’ with a crip,” Martin thought he meant doing outreach with a local gang; seeing as how that isn’t the case, she gives him twenty-four hours to find a more suitable alternative or he will be sent back to juvey. Puck loses his temper, and storms out; Artie sees the events unfold. At Kurt’s request Blaine arrives at McKinley; the pair confront Karofsky about the kiss, but the jock is in full denial. Later Kurt confesses to Blaine that the kiss was his first.
Will finds Coach Beiste in the locker room packing her belongings; he tries to talk her out of leaving. After admitting that she is aware she can be intimidating, she says deep down inside she’s just a girl. She confesses that she’s never had a boyfriend, and never even been kissed. She starts to cry; Will comforts her. He tells her she is a beautiful woman (inside and out) “who’s heart is too big for most men to stand.” He kisses her, and makes sure it’s more than friendly; despite knowing the gesture was one of kindness and nothing more, she is appreciative. They hug; Will invites her back to the choir room so the kids can apologize to her personally. In the hallway Artie finds Puck cleaning out his locker; Puck says he would rather skip town than do the humiliating task of cleaning garbage off the highway. Puck confesses that contrary to the stories he told, his time at juvey was terrifying, and he refuses to go back. Artie says Puck needs to start hanging around with people who will be a good influence on him; he offers to tutor him in geometry if Puck agrees to work the roadside clean-up detail for six weeks. Puck agrees, thankful to have a friend; he also thanks Artie for paying the dinner bill, noting that skipping on the check could’ve really screwed him. In the choir room the guys apologize to Coach Beiste; they say they’ve realized that just because she’s hard and tough on the outside doesn’t mean she’s not the opposite on the inside… ”like a chocolate turtle.” They perform a mash up of the Supremes’ “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and En Vogue’s “Never Gonna Get It.” At the end Beiste flashes a huge smile; she thanks them, and they all come together for a group hug.
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