Peru
Karl isn't so keen to get on the plane...
"I’m not getting on this. Why’s he landing on water? There’s enough land here. Chop some of the trees down! There’s sh*tloads of land, make another runway. Why are we landing on this?"
"I was just going to Macchu Picchu and I’ve gotta get on a plane, and apparently there was smoke, here you are, look they’ve got the engine open, look. Is it easily sorted? You fix it? You can’t fix it?"
"I think that’s why they have doors on planes so you can’t see the captain. It’s nothing to do with security – it’s just so you can’t see the div who’s driving it cos it puts you on edge, dunnit?"
Karl on camping...
"The only thing that’s annoying with camping is, er, the toilet situation. The hole in the ground."
"China, where I thought they were advanced, they still had a hole in the ground. That’s my main panic that I’ve had about this trip: how am I gonna do it in the woods?"
"It’s not a camp site. What are you on about?"
Karl eats breakfast while his guide cooks a rat...
"These are alright, these. I mean, I’d eat a rodent if there was nothing else. But it’s hard to sort of sit over there and tuck down. Y’know, tuck into a rat when I know I’ve got beans and sausage here. It just seems a bit, bit daft, dunnit?"
Karl discovers Peru's thriving insect population...
"Everywhere you look there’s stuff whizzing around your ears all the time or crawling up your arm or…I’m just gonna get bitten a lot."
"Imagine it. Imagine being a stick insect, walking about. You’d be forever going, “Is that whats-his-name?” And you’d have to walk all the way up to the twig and you’d go, “Oh, it’s just another bloody twig again.” It doesn’t work. “She looks nice. I’m going over there. Alright love? Oh, it’s just a stick.” It’s hard! It’s a hard life to be a stick insect."
Karl spots a local tribeswoman...
"There’s a woman with an axe. Right. And she’s not wearing the stuff. It’s like she didn’t wanna join in. It’s mad, innit? No matter where you live, there’s a nutter. Whether it’s on a council estate in Manchester, London, in the jungle, there’s always one, isn’t there, who doesn’t wanna join in. Swinging her axe about."
Karl is offered a dead animal's head for food...
"Don’t you want the head? You’d love that, wouldn’t you? You’d love to eat that. I saw you cutting it off. You cut it off, you eat it. But can you let them know that I don’t feel like I can take their food from them?"
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