Jerry is a nervous wreck: It’s time for his third date with Leigh, which means a kiss is expected; something he’s never done. When Lorraine demonstrates one on Alan, Jerry passes out. Emma Path, the attorney for Nancy Wilding, informs Alan that they’re suing the firm for a million dollars because Denny fired her for being fat. Alan suggests biting Emma’s thighs instead, and then tops it off by making panting sounds in her face. Jeffrey Bass, a former police officer, asks Katie and Whitney to represent him in a trial that starts today: a murder trial. While on duty he shot and killed an unarmed black man who he thought was an armed robbery suspect. The man raised a soda can, which he mistook for a gun. The DA made Jeffrey take an MRI, which indicated his that brain has racist tendencies. Now he’s facing second-degree murder charges.

 

Sack confronts Clarence about a YouTube video he saw. The video shows Clarice screaming obscenities at a minister in a parking lot. Clarence explains that the man stole Clarice’s parking spot, and she snapped. To make matters worse, Clarice lifts her dress and shows her backside to the startled reverend. Alan confides to Denny that perhaps Lorraine is the one. To Denny’s chagrin he’s considering entering a real relationship with her. Judge Gloria Weldon presides over Katie and Whitney’s case, and only gives them an hour to prepare for trial. Leigh drops by to ask Jerry out, and he panics thinking about the third date kiss. He pretends to be busy until the weekend. She’s visibly disappointed. ADA Palmer questions Terrence Owens, the brother of B.J., the man Jeffrey shot. He tells the jury that he and B.J. were leaving a deli with their takeout order when a police car pulled up. Two officers got out. When B.J. didn’t respond fast enough, Bass shot him... eight times. When Alan tells Lorraine that he thinks she’s ready for a long-term relationship, she agrees... and then breaks his heart by saying she’s already in an exclusive relationship, and she won’t be stalking him anymore.

Clarence apologizes to Sack for the video, and informs him that he’s suing YouTube for humiliating him in public. Sack says he has no case, and makes a drag-queen joke. Clarence turns to leave, but Sack surprises him by offering to represent him in court. Leigh returns, and confronts Jerry on weaseling out of their date. He panics again, and sucks on his wooden cigarette. He reverts to his cocky jerk persona, which sends her away in tears. In court a professor testifies that MRIs reveal feelings, and that Jeffrey Bass’ MRI showed that he perceives black men as threatening. Whitney gets him to admit that shooter-bias tests show that everyone — white and black — will shoot a black man faster than a white man; including people who aren’t racist. Wacky Judge Brown hears Clarence’s case while wearing a motorcycle helmet, which throws off Sack. At his deposition Denny insults Nancy about her weight again, making matters worse. Sack attacks YouTube by offering that everyone is able to video anyone’s most embarrassing meltdowns at anytime, and post them on the Internet. He points out to Judge Brown that someone could tape him right now as “Justice Bubblehead.” He closes with: “Maybe it’s time to update our tort laws to protect us all in this YouTube world.” Jeffrey Bass admits on the stand that he works in mostly dangerous, black neighborhoods; that he has been shot at by blacks; and has twice shot other people of color... one by mistake.

 

Denny and Alan are dismayed to discover Judge Marcia Fudge — all three-hundred-and-fifty pounds of her — presiding over their case. She listens as Emma spells out the charges, and quickly agrees to take them under advisement. She waddles away before Alan can give his side. It looks like an open and shut case against them. Attorney Palmer closes with a strong attack against Jeffrey Bass, pointing out his MRI results and the fact that he’s already accidentally killed two innocent men. Whitney argues that the DA is trying to convict a man of murder with nothing more than an MRI from the thought police. Judge Brown dismisses Clarence’s case. Sack suggests to Clarence that in the future, when in public, assume the cameras are watching. Leigh confronts Jerry, accusing him of lying to get out of dating her because she’s so odd. When Jerry confesses that he was just scared about the first kiss, she kisses him. With that out of the way they seem to be heading toward an odd but sweet relationship. Alan finally gets to plead his case that being overweight isn’t just about looks, but poses a serious health issue. He closes by suggesting that maybe Denny should be applauded for trying to shock obese people into diets to save themselves and possibly their friends and co-workers. To everyone’s amazement Judge Fudge dismisses the case. Denny and Alan can’t believe they’ve won. The jury also returns a not guilty verdict for Jeffrey Bass. Whitney suggests he get a job without a gun.

 

On the balcony Alan concedes that they were wrong to “pre-judge” Judge Fudge on her appearance. Denny feels he’s gotten fatter just by hanging around Alan. In the end they decide it’s a good night for a sleepover with popcorn; but Alan insists: no Red Vines.