So Heineken Dropped – What Happened?
Jono: Well, it was cold.
Ben: Yeah, we thought we were doing a nice easy gig for Heineken – Turns out that wasn’t the case.
Jono: We got abducted by a cow and next thing we are in a helicopter..
Ben: Handcuffed - And that’s the last place you want to be with Jono. In a helicopter – with a cow, handcuffed.
Where did you get dropped?
Jono: Um, it was down by the Dart River in Glenorchy.
Ben: It was bloody cold.
Jono: Yeah, the whole trip – absolutely froze. I was in boxers and a t-shirt. Not ideal
Ben: Then we had to row a weird sheep shaped dinghy across a lake
Jono: Again, in our pyjamas, boxers, t-shirt – But, we did find some Heineken.
Ben: Yeah dummy here drank the first one.
Jono: Um, we got a tow from a Jet Boat. They got us close to Queenstown and we rowed the rest of the way in.
Ben: Attempted to row. It was kind of awkward handcuffed.
Jono: Even not handcuffed – We still would of been crap. Let’s be honest.
Did you enjoy Queenstown?
Jono: It was cold.
Ben: Yeah, we were trying to find Kiwiana clues and found a lovely blonde tourist in a kiwifruit jumper
Jono: A hideous kiwi fruit jumper.
Ben: Yeah, but next thing we’re on a tour bus with Haka Tours and are heading to Wanaka. www.hakatours.com
Jono: Which wasn’t exactly north, but it was warm in the bus. And that was all we really cared about by that stage.
Ben: And it was warm at the fire
Jono: Yeah, that was good- we roasted the ol mallows on the fire and enjoyed a few beerseys with the tourists.
Ben: We tried to crack some jokes but it obviously didn’t work because we woke up and everyone had gone.
Jono: And I thought they liked us.
Where to Next?
Jono: Umm, we got another clue and met up with a big guy and his yellow plane
Ben: Which you loved of course.
Jono: Shut up, being scared of flying is a common fear – don’t be mean.
And that flew you to..?
Ben: The mighty New Plymouth!
Jono: Well kind of, he left us a bit high and dry in the country but that was an experience.
Ben: Yeah, within about 12 hours we stole a ute, slept with some chickens , stole a tractor
Jono: And generally left a trail of carnage through New Plymouth.
Ben: Two city slickers getting loose.
Jono: Two city slickers desperately wanting to get home. Where it was warm.
And then you hit the rail way, correct?
Ben: Yeah, we got a ride on this crazy golf cart rail cart thing .
Jono: That was pretty cool. But cold, very cold.
Ben: But after a few hours it was clear it was a bit slow.
Jono: Faster than walking, but 23km/h just wasn’t going to cut it.
Ben: Yeah, the handcuffs were effing annoying by that stage – I even considered cutting my own hand off to get way from Jono.
Jono: Woah, harsh. I loved it. Best pals forever.
A bit of rush at the end to get to Fashion Week?
Jono: Yeah we completed a bit of gumboot throwing then awkwardly mounted a French man on a motorbike
Ben: A motorbike with one of those side cart things – perfect for two dicks like us.
Jono: Yeah, and we groped that guy all the way to Fashion Week in Auckland.
Ben: It was quite a cool bike.
Jono: Yeah, but cold. Really, really cold.
Ben: We got to the Viaduct and found the cow mask guy
Jono: Yes, that cunning cow man mix. He didn’t have the keys to the handcuffs. Just another fun clue.
Ben: Well I wouldn’t of called it fun.
Jono: Yes, I was being sarcastic.
How did the trip end?
Jono: Our, ‘FUN’ clue sent us to a bungy jump off the harbour bridge,
Ben: At night time
Jono: At night time
Ben: In pyjamas
Jono: In pyjamas
Ben: Facing backwards
Jono: Facing Backwards.
Ben: And cold
Jono: And freezing.
Ben: But the end was in sight, well kind of, it was a bit dark.
Jono: We did the bungy jump, a boat picked us up , we finally took the handcuffs off.
Ben: And then the bloody cow showed up.
Jono: Yes, but this time he was a nice cow.
Ben: Wouldn’t ‘HE’ be a bull?
Jono: I don’t know farmer brown – What, you’ve been on a tractor and now you’re some farming cow man expert?
Ben: Okay okay, but Bull / Cow man had a couple of Heineken for us and …
Jono: We happily drank them and then got a taxi home. The End.
Ben: Awesome trip. But cold.
Jono: Very cold.
Would you do it again?
Jono: Harsh bro, harsh.