The Charlotte Church Message Forums
Dedicated fans on the Charlotte Church Message Forum have been busy preparing themselves for every possible scenario of a chance meeting with Charlotte. Here are some of the "What if..." scenarios and the best answers hand-picked by Graham Norton himself...
Question:
You're hiking through the desert and see in the distance someone on a camel riding towards you. It is a hot, hot day and your water rations are dangerously low. As that person gets closer you can tell it is Charlotte and she looks very much in need of a beverage. You can give her your remaining water (and risk severe dehydration for yourself) or ignore her and hope that she makes it to the nearest oasis soon. What would you do in this desperate situation? (By the way, you also have a large can of pineapple juice in your backpack but forgot to bring along an opener.)
Answer:
I would say, "If you can open my can of pineapple juice I'll give you half plus the water." Then again, if it was a small can I wouldn’t. I'd just say, "If you can open my juice I'll give you the water." Maybe I wouldn't do that either... I have no idea"
Question:
You find out Charlotte's extremely mad at you and plans to track you down and club you over the head with her Classical Brit Award. Where would you hide?
Answer:
I'd have to alter my appearance, wear a disguise and change my lifestyle completely. I'd enlist in the French Foreign Legion and wander the globe in search of the lost empire. I'd never sleep in the same bed twice nor let anyone know my real name. Maybe after 25 years she'd cool down and let me live a normal life again.
Question:
One day you awake to find a moving truck right outside your house. You say to yourself, "I wonder who is moving in." Then you see this face. "Hey, I've seen her before somewhere." Then you realise it is the one and only Charlotte Church. You run and do your morning routine and put some clothes on and rush outside to... Finish the sentence.
Answer:
I would tell her not to disturb the turtles that make their home in our yards. They are endangered and my dad (Dave) would go nuts if anybody, (even Charlotte) disturbed those precious turtles.
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